1. “Uggggh books are so boringggg!”
2. “Can we just go outside and play instead?”
3. “There’s no way a simple BOOK could be more interesting than ME.”
4. “… I hate to break it to you, Human, but this is written in total gibberish.”
5. “What is this ‘reading’ you speak of?”
6. “Spoiler alert: the main character dies. Now rub my tummy.”
7. “You suuuuure you don’t want to play fetch instead?”
8. “Uh-oh. Looks like you confused ‘reading time’ with ‘petting time.'”
9. “I’ve got a great idea: how about you broaden your literary horizons by reading the kibble bag while you feed me?”
10. “… Is this not a pillow?”
11. “You won’t have your precious book for long, Human – once I get my lil’ fangs on it!”
12. “But … we’re OUTSIDE.”
13. “I demand that this reading nonsense stop at once.”
14. “Okay doesn’t seem like there’s any treats in here – you can probably stop reading now.”
15. “I’m going to nom at your book until you close it, Human.”
16. “Why do you like this book? It doesn’t taste very good at all.”
17. “Sorry, Human, but the news of the day is ME.”
18. “What do you MEAN you can’t pet me right now??”
19. “Waiting for you to stop reading is literally putting me to sleep.”
20. “Is this bugging you? Is me staring at you bugging you? Is it? Huh?”
21. “I bet that book isn’t nearly as cuddly as I am.”
22. “Okay, Human. That’s it. Put down the book, or you’ll find it shredded all over the house tomorrow.”
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